Saturday, April 01, 2006

50 tornadoes to strike Memphis tomorrow

The HWO from NWS MEG states that there is a 97% chance of at least 50 tornadoes striking the Memphis Metro Area. Here is the unedited version of the HWO:

FLUS44 KMEG 012051
HWOMEG

HAZARDOUS WEATHER OUTLOOK
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE MEMPHIS TN
0306 PM CST SAT APR 1 2006

ARZ008-009-017-018-026>028-035-036-048-049-058-MOZ113-115-
MSZ001>017-020>024-TNZ001>004-019>021-048>055-088>092-021230-
ALCORN-BENTON(MS)-CALHOUN-CARROLL-CHESTER-CHICKASAW-CLAY-COAHOMA-
CRAIGHEAD-CRITTENDEN-CROCKETT-CROSS-DESOTO-DECATUR-DUNKLIN-DYER-
FAYETTE-GIBSON-GREENE-HARDEMAN-HARDIN-HAYWOOD-HENDERSON-HENRY-
ITAWAMBA-LAFAYETTE-LAKE-LAUDERDALE-LAWRENCE-LEE(AR)-LEE(MS)-
MADISON-MARSHALL-MCNAIRY-MISSISSIPPI-MONROE-OBION-PANOLA-PEMISCOT-
PHILLIPS-POINSETT-PONTOTOC-PRENTISS-QUITMAN-RANDOLPH-SHELBY-
ST.FRANCIS-TALLAHATCHIE-TATE-TIPPAH-TIPTON-TISHOMINGO-TUNICA-
UNION-WEAKLEY-YALOBUSHA-
0306 PM CST SAT APR 1 2006

THIS HAZARDOUS WEATHER OUTLOOK IS FOR PORTIONS OF EAST ARKANSAS...
THE MISSOURI BOOTHEEL...NORTH MISSISSIPPI...AND WEST TENNESSEE.

.DAY ONE...TODAY AND TONIGHT

THE STATIONARY FRONT OVER NORTH MISSISSIPPI WILL RISE NORTHWARD AS A WARM FRONT TONIGHT WITH ADDITIONAL THUNDERSTORM DEVELOPMENT POSSIBLE. ANY STORMS THAT DEVELOP ARE EXPECTED TO REMAIN BELOW SEVERE LIMITS.

.DAYS TWO THROUGH SEVEN...SUNDAY THROUGH FRIDAY

A POTENT UPPER LEVEL DISTURBANCE AND THE ASSOCIATED COLD FRONT WILL PUSH INTO THE MID SOUTH SUNDAY AFTERNOON. THE AIRMASS AHEAD OF THE FRONT WILL BE UNSTABLE AND WIND FIELDS WILL BE VERY STRONG. THE GFS AND NAM STATE HUGE CAPE VALUES OVER 10000 FOR SUNDAY EVENING DIRECTLY OVER THE MEMPHIS METROPOLITAN AREA. THUS, WE ARE FORECASTING A 97% CHANCE OF OVER FIFTY TORNADOES STRIKING THE MEMPHIS METRO AREA. WE ENCOURAGE ANYONE WITHIN FIFTY MILES OF THE METRO AREA EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY OR CONSTRUCT AN UNDERGROUND STORM SHELTER AT LEAST ONE HUNDRED FEET BELOW THE GROUND. ANYONE LEFT IN THE MEMPHIS METRO AREA WILL DIE IMMEDIATELY DUE TO AIRBORNE DEBRIS FLYING OVER 300 MPH.

.SPOTTER INFORMATION STATEMENT...

SPOTTER ACTIVATION WILL NOT BE NEEDED TOMORROW AS WE ENCOURAGE ANYONE WITHIN 50 MILES OF THE MEMPHIS METRO AREA EVACUATE. EVEN THE ENTIRE FORECASTING STAFF HERE AT THE NWS WILL BE LEAVING TOWN TOMORROW BECAUSE THIS IS AN APRIL FOOLS' JOKE.

$$

JH
---
Note: no one at the NWS sent this out. I made this up as an April Fools' joke. If you really don't think so, go ahead and evacuate.

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